For your safety

A safety plan includes any steps you can take to increase your safety – whether you live with your partner, are preparing to leave, or have left.

Here are some suggestions. Everyone’s situation is different, so you’ll have to choose the ones that work for you. We’re always available to talk about different ideas and help you think about your options. Just call our hotline at 1-800-439-2323.

If you live with an abusive partner

If you live with an abusive partner, here are some things to think about – and do – to help you get and stay safe.

• Plan possible exits you can use from your home or apartment if an argument erupts.
• Keep an extra set of keys, money, and a packed bag ready in case you need to leave quickly.
• Learn how to disable your cell phone’s GPS locator if it has one, so your abuser can’t track your movements.
• Create a code word or signal to use with your children, friends, family, or neighbors to let them know when you need the police or other help.
• Be cautious about what you post on social networking sites.
• Learn how to clear your computer’s browser history.
• Make plans to go to the home of a friend or neighbor – somewhere safe and a place your abuse won’t look for you – if you need to leave home.

If you’re preparing to leave

Leaving can increase your danger since many abusers will step up the violence they use to control you. Here are some steps you can take to help you stay safe.

• Pack a bag with things you’ll need to take with you: identification, driver's license, car registration and title, birth certificates for you and your children, money, bank books, keys, medications, social security cards, address book, clothes – or leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust, so you can leave quickly.
• Open a bank account in your name and rent a post office box so you can receive mail.
• Talk with family, friends, police, or staff at community agencies you can count on for support.

If you’ve left

Starting out on your own can be a challenging and difficult time. If you’ve left, here are some steps you can take to stay safe – and keep your children safe – while you create your new life.

• If you have a protection from abuse order or family matter judgment, give copies to your child’s schools and childcare.  Let them know who has permission to pick up the children and give them your code word.
• If you have to arrange child visits with your abusive partner, exchange children in a public place or through a third party.
• Get support. Talk to one of our advocates and/or attend a support group.
  
• If you have to communicate with the abuser, talk by phone or take another person. with you.
• If there’s someone at work you trust, tell him or her about your situation. If you work in a small business, this person may just be a co-worker. If you work for a larger company, you might want to alert your office or building security, and provide a photo of your abuser if possible.  Arrange to have someone screen your calls.
• When you leave work, make plans to be escorted to your car, and then vary your  route home. Drive to the nearest police station if you’re being followed – and find out where it is before you need it!